Sunday, January 08, 2006
Imitation
Another piece that I wrote in August of '05. If I remember correctly, I wrote both of these pieces on the airplane coming back from this trip.
I've been traveling this week for work. During my first day of travel I twice found myself seated next to small children. Once across from a little girl who was about 2 1/2, and once next to a little boy who was 10-12 months old. In both cases I ended up playing imitation games with them.
The little girl was smacking her lips together and making a popping noise. I started smacking my lips together as well. She was enchanted, and spent the next 10 minutes smacking her lips and then looking to see if I would copy her. When I did she'd give me a big grin and then look up at her mother, who would comment about what a silly man I was. When they were leaving the mother asked if I wanted to come along on their flight and entertain her for the next 3 hours. The little boy shook his head once while he was looking at me. I shook my head back at him, which he thought was amazingly funny. He shook his head again to see if I would continue to imitate, which I did.
That evening in my hotel room, I was thinking about those children. I had a lot of fun playing with them. It was so easy to get them to pay attention to me and interact with me, and they were eager to play imitation games. It was so unlike my own children. As a young child Jason had a limited range of interactions. Timothy still has an extremely limited range--he'll play tickling and wrestling games, but it's extremely difficult to get him to play with a toy with you, and he virtually never imitates what he sees someone else do. His preschool teachers say that he actively resists their attempts to get him to imitate.
My brother and his family visited us over the 4th of July. Will, their older son, is just about the same age as Timothy. Will and Jason had a great time playing together. Will followed Jason around and was very interested in doing what Timothy did. It was wonderful to see Jason interacting so positively with Will. But it was also hard, because if Timothy didn't have autism, them Jason and Timothy could play together that way all the time.
It is saddening to think about the simple pleasures of playing with my children that I've missed. I know that my wife feels that pain more often and more intensely than I do. That's not surprising given the larger position that the boys occupy in her daily life. Playing with those two kids in the airport gave me a closer glimpse into her own personal experience of the loss we've experience from the boy's autism.
I've been traveling this week for work. During my first day of travel I twice found myself seated next to small children. Once across from a little girl who was about 2 1/2, and once next to a little boy who was 10-12 months old. In both cases I ended up playing imitation games with them.
The little girl was smacking her lips together and making a popping noise. I started smacking my lips together as well. She was enchanted, and spent the next 10 minutes smacking her lips and then looking to see if I would copy her. When I did she'd give me a big grin and then look up at her mother, who would comment about what a silly man I was. When they were leaving the mother asked if I wanted to come along on their flight and entertain her for the next 3 hours. The little boy shook his head once while he was looking at me. I shook my head back at him, which he thought was amazingly funny. He shook his head again to see if I would continue to imitate, which I did.
That evening in my hotel room, I was thinking about those children. I had a lot of fun playing with them. It was so easy to get them to pay attention to me and interact with me, and they were eager to play imitation games. It was so unlike my own children. As a young child Jason had a limited range of interactions. Timothy still has an extremely limited range--he'll play tickling and wrestling games, but it's extremely difficult to get him to play with a toy with you, and he virtually never imitates what he sees someone else do. His preschool teachers say that he actively resists their attempts to get him to imitate.
My brother and his family visited us over the 4th of July. Will, their older son, is just about the same age as Timothy. Will and Jason had a great time playing together. Will followed Jason around and was very interested in doing what Timothy did. It was wonderful to see Jason interacting so positively with Will. But it was also hard, because if Timothy didn't have autism, them Jason and Timothy could play together that way all the time.
It is saddening to think about the simple pleasures of playing with my children that I've missed. I know that my wife feels that pain more often and more intensely than I do. That's not surprising given the larger position that the boys occupy in her daily life. Playing with those two kids in the airport gave me a closer glimpse into her own personal experience of the loss we've experience from the boy's autism.
